What makes someone undateable

Catey Hill. I rebuilt my life after hitting rock bottom at My estranged daughter says she only wants my money and jewelry. Do I include her in my will? Why the new tax law caused a 'perfect storm' for Roth IRA conversions. Advanced Search Submit entry for keyword results. Let's be honest, we are all guilty of having a laugh at another's folly. But some folks make a terrible habit of frolicking in other's misery - and it shows.

If your date gets that excited look in their eye when bad-mouthing strangers, co-workers, friends, or even family - you can bet your bottom that they will be bashing you as soon as you are not around. Most likely to the people they were talking bad about with you! Everyone has money problems. We've all been in a pinch, but some folks live there. I'm not talking about someone coming from a poor background, or someone recovering from a devastating financial catastrophe - I'm talking about a person that spends their rent on Beanie Babies because "the market's about to turn around.

This is perhaps one of the first signs you will be aware of, as it takes no conversation at all to notice. Dressing sloppy could be a fashion choice, but lack of showering is not sexy at all. You need to at least bathe, brush your teeth, and become familiar with deodorant of some kind before you go out on a date. Whether you are a male or female, it is reasonable and acceptable to pursue romantic relationships. You do not have to sit around looking pretty or looking available to attract possible suitors.

Standing at a bar and looking aloof as you palm your whiskey might make you feel sexy and mysterious for a few minutes; however, it does little to actually engage the people around you or offer anyone a window into who you are, what you want, or what you are feeling.

At least in part, you are a self-sufficient human being, and you are more than capable of determining your thoughts, needs, and likes, as well as being able to ask the person you like out on a date. Although a partnership is a beautiful thing and having someone with whom to spend your life is wonderful, you are a whole person by yourself. The most magnificent partner in the world is not a requirement for you to be fulfilled, successful, and happy. You do not have to give up on dating, but it might be smart to take a step back and determine what you want from dating.

Some people have demonstrable traits of immaturity or other traits that do not lend themselves to a healthy, stable relationship.

Selfishness, laziness, reactive behavior, grudge-holding, and similar issues can indicate to a potential partner that you are not ready for a relationship and are consequently not a dateable person. What one person might consider immature, another person might consider an expected part of being a human.

The question to ask yourself, then, is whether or not you are prone to gossiping, thinking, or speaking poorly of others, refusing to accept responsibility for your mistakes, or refusing to apologize. All of these things are indications of a distinct lack of maturity, and all of them could be worked on and, to some degree, resolved before trying to enter into a relationship with anyone.

If you are afraid that you are undateable, there are some things you can do to improve your situation. Even if it turns out that you do not exhibit any of the behaviors mentioned above, none of the practical steps below would be detrimental to you overall and are reasonable actions to take at any station in life. Ultimately, you are the only person you are guaranteed to have in your life, making sure you are someone you like and respect. Rather than simply lamenting your flaws, or throwing your hands up at your mistakes, take the time and put in the effort to actively work toward becoming a healthy, whole individual who does not consider his or her happiness in any way contingent on others.

Dating is, again, largely about connection and communication. To improve your dateability, improve your ability to connect with and communicate with others. Dating is not just about you and getting your needs met; it is also about your partner and his or her needs—practice reaching out to friends and family and engaging in healthy, strong, straightforward communication.

You can also practice speaking honestly and openly in times of conflict. Ask anyone close to you to help you step forward in creating healthier patterns of communication, connection, and general relationship navigation.

This will help you create better habits that can improve your compatibility with others and your corresponding dateability. Ignoring that you feel undateable will not help and could even make the thought stronger. Instead of allowing these feelings to rule your life completely, close your eyes, breathe in deeply, and allow yourself to feel sad, overwhelmed, angry, or anything else you might feel about being undateable, then open your eyes and resolve to move forward.

Feeling your feelings is essential for mental and emotional health. Suppressing the way you feel is potentially dangerous, while overindulging how you feel is similarly hazardous. Allowing yourself to feel and then taking action to improve is the best way to move forward. Some people have intense needs or backgrounds that can make dating seem intimidating.

Abuse, divorce, single parenthood, poverty, and similar issues can all make dating seem like an impossible task. Even if these things are in your background, you can be an incredible partner.

Focus on all of your strengths rather than only acknowledging your flaws. Perhaps you have an incredible zest for life, or you can curate music playlists filled with the most obscure, incredible musicians. Everyone has something that they can consider a strength, so take the time to go through all of your potential strengths and begin to build your strength and confidence on that. If you feel as though you are undateable, have no fear: it is highly unlikely that you are so entirely unlovable as to be impossible to date.

There can, however, be plenty of reasons you are struggling to get dates, connect with other people, or maintain a relationship. If you are struggling to improve your interactions with others or your confidence seems impossible to improve, you may benefit from the help of a mental health professional, such as those found on ReGain. The truth is there is no such thing as permanently undateable men, even if you are yet to find satisfaction in your love life.